The Journey of 13 Miles Begins With a Single Step

Fancy Nancy's done it again. This time, she's gone Olympic on the collective blogland butt by asking us to race 8 on the 8th in honor of the opening ceremonies. I'm slated to run 13 tomorrow but my dear spouse is "working" in Vegas this week so I had to do it today, and I threw in an extra tenth to make it a legit half-mary.

I have two favorite Chinese dudes, the one who stood in front of the tank in Tienanmen Square and Lao Tzu. Unfortunately some anti-democratic bastards have prevented the former from sharing much wisdom, but we can still get all kinds of nuggets of pith and moment from my homeboy LT. He likes it when I call him that.

Here you are: 13.1 (annotated) miles with Lao Tzu, brought to you fresh from the Tao Te Ching.

Miles 1-4:
Empty yourself of everything

Get nasty,
Get freaky,
You sexy,
You fine.

Miles 4-8:
In action, watch the timing

I am a MILF
Don't you forget
MILF
Don't you forget
MILF
Don't you forget

Miles 8-11:
So sometimes things are ahead and sometimes they are behind;
Sometimes breathing is hard, sometimes it comes easily;
Sometimes there is strength and sometimes weakness;
Sometimes one is up and sometimes down.

You came to get down.
You came to get down.
Get up, get up, and get down.
Jump around.

Miles 11-13:
Blunt the sharpness, untangle the knot.

I can't control my fingers I can't control my toes
Oh no no no no no
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go...
Just put me in a wheelchair...
Ba-ba-bamp-ba ba-ba-ba-bamp-ba
I wanna be sedated


I may be enhancing Taoism a bit.

13.1 miles: 1:51:38
Avg pace: 8:31
8 miles: 1:06:48