Makes Your Run Taste Like Pie

So I have a small confession to make to the Roctane people: I'd already tried their Gu before they offered to send me some to review. But the fact that I was willing to "test" it already shows that I endorse the stuff. I didn't use gels much before this year but decided I needed to try them again because the jaw action of chewing those beans was wearing me out, and no one wants to bonk from jaw fatigue.

I went to the running store and asked the owner about Roctane, and he looked at me and said, "You know it has twice the stuff of regular gels, right?" He hadn't tried it but thought it might not be the best option for someone of my size, implying that my constitution was better matched to cotton candy or something equally fluffy. His raised eyebrows and suggestion that it was too powerful for me of course meant that I bought three of them, thinking I'll show him how well I can handle bowels lined with concrete.

I brought it on a sultry 16-mile run this summer and took one at mile 13. Suffice it to say, it was the run where I averaged marathon pace for the entire distance.

The stuff is good.

I had begun to flag when I downed the Roctane, but within a minute, it was like my battery had been recharged, and I ran the last three miles of that run like the prior 13 hadn't happened.

The stuff is that good.

There were no concrete bowels, so I've used it ever since, even though it costs more, and now I will use it more often because I have a whole lot of it for free. I might even describe the little packet of goo as beautiful, if that isn't going too far, which it might be, so I will stick with "really, really good."

Now "good," of course, can mean different things. Roctane is good fuel, quicker to take effect and more powerful than beans, Bloks, or other gels I've tried in the past.

Does it make me gag like the other gels? A smidgen of a thick-throated hiccup may have occurred, and it still takes me three gulps from the envelope to get it down, but the results are worth it. Besides, the gagging may have more to do with the blueberry flavor's allusion to the clinic scene in Juno where the receptionist associates the condoms with pie. Sorry to share that, but there you have it.

The vanilla-orange flavor conjures no such images and so it has been my preference, though if you have a powerful enough imagination, your mind will probably take you to a similar place. Sorry again.

So, Roctane people, I love your product, regardless of what it makes me think of because it is powerful, awesome stuff and it makes me like running when I otherwise would hate it. More flavor options would be appreciated, maybe something that makes me think of frosting on a doughnut. Of course then I might actually just eat it for a snack when I'm bored, and that might not be a great idea.