My local Target was already thinking BEACH in February, even though the store is in Nashua, where snow plows sit idling at the ready, round the clock, for six months. But I wouldn't indulge the BEACH thought until recently, when I ventured into that bathing suit section that's had me shivering on every trip to the store since Valentines Day.
As I perused the itsy bitsy teeny weeny goods, I had a revelation on an issue that's been humming in the back of my head for a while. For the past year, ever since I upped my mileage and began chasing speed, people have told me I look like a runner--even when running wasn't the topic of conversation. At first, I thought it was fantastic. I thought it meant I'd arrived and been admitted to a club. Then I realized what made them know I'm a runner. It wasn't my fantasy of having Kara Goucher's legs or Lolo Jones's abs. Because I don't have those things, damnit.
It was the hard, ugly fact that I have Paula Radcliffe's chest.
The only time in my life that I have been "endowed" was for about 8 months after having a baby. Keep in mind that I nursed for a full 12 months--my breasts were just hell-bent on retreat 3/4 of the way to that year. And because nursing sucked (couldn't resist--sorry) for both Henry and me, I didn't really appreciate my brief foray into women's "foundation garments."
Yes, it's true, I buy bras for girls, and not just because they're cheaper.
Since my 8 months of boobage, I can live--and even run--with the most minimal support, by which I mean my bra, not my cheering section--I need the equivalent of serious underwire in that department. But in bras, I wear a size that is characterized by words like "nearly," "training," and "-lette," and padding seems like such a grand lie that I won't even go there. I can't even bring myself to cop a feel for a self-exam, it's just that bad.
So even though many of you will probably comment that I should be happy to lack the "bounce-factor," I made a decision in the middle of that Target. I will no longer buy training bras and rationalize that they are for serious runners training for a marathon. I want my cups to runneth over.
I don't want to be a runner who looks like this:
I want to be a runner who looks like this:
I'm gonna put in some boobies. I think this can only help my identity crisis.
Happy April.
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18 comments:
HaHa! Love it. And just think, you'd never have to see your battered up runner's feet ever again.
Happy April Fools Day to you! :)
Leave it to a topic about boobs to get a man to comment. Yes, most of the good female runners are somewhat, let's see, how to say this delicately, less well-endowed. I think it's a decision you have to make. Do you want to be a great runner, or a head turner. At the risk of sounding sexist, I love female runner bodies. On a side note, I wonder are good male runners...., never mind.
LOL! At this point in time I just want my boobs hacked off. I'm not even kidding about this. They are NOT pretty. Try going from a B to DD and then back down to B 2 times and then tell me how those sucks are going to look afterward. Yuppers, floppy flap jacks. Oy. Gimme ANYONE'S hooters but mine :P
Breast augmentation is really a godsend, isn't it? I mean, it just makes boosting women's self-esteem so easy. I'm glad you're going to go for it. Make it worth your while, though. Get thee some GGGs.
I just want perky again. When I got pregnant, I couldn't FIND a bra to fit. I was 7 months pregnant and you couldn't see my belly for my boobs. Now I'm back to a C but a decidely flat C - with no bra on I look like an A, just an A-Long. Perky. Those were the days.....
April Fools? The grass is always greener. I was a C before pregnancy and some ridiculous letter while nursing, like F. I'm now what they call asymmetrical, one D and one C, lovely. I would give anything to be a B. The bounce factor is so daunting and distracting in terms of finding just the right bra that isn't like a straight jacket.
I figure if I keep training a B might be in my grasp (however, not my husbands).
you kidding me? since my baby i cant get rid of them. I wanna go back to the first pic!
A little advice: go bigger than you think you want! Nobody ever thinks they went to big but lots of women wish they went a little bigger. ;)
I have the same problem, however those Victoria Secret wonder bras really are a wonder. If I want to look like I have boobies, I wear one of those bras and I feel like I have them :-) I don't think I want them for running though!
Too funny! I hear you; it gets me so depressed that I'm practically obsessed with the topic! Was tiny before kids and after nursing three for about 2 years each, you can imagine...not a pretty picture! :) But this helps a little: http://www.titlenine.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=2996&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=674&iSubCat=675&iProductID=2996
lol :)
BUT i have to say the small ones i did have are completely gone now that i have been running so much :( so sad. its the one thing i am looking forward to with getting prego ;)
Victoria's Secret sizes are too big for me. Even their wonderbras can't help me!!!
I love being flat!
I just thought of something! Is this your April Fool's joke on us?
Yes. I believe this must be April Fool's.... :)
Whether they are big or small, they are wrecked after being sucked on by wee ones for years. There are many good things about nursing. Retaining nice perky boobs is not one of them. I tell you, the sacrifices we mothers make....
Join the group sister ... I get it!
I can't even comment on your boobs, I'm too distracted by the ridiculous bathing suit in picture #2 -- Baywatch if I'm correct. Obviously a FICTIONAL lifeguard because a real one would never wear a suit cut like that!
Too funny! Sounds like my typical trip to the bathing suit section of any store (or the halter top section, or bra section ...) There's a reason my role model is Kate Hudson LOL. I always thought that maybe someday I would get (small) implants. Then my best friend did -- so not worth it!!
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