Go For Broke Summer continues this weekend--three months of racing hard and testing the limits of my stamina (to be followed by spending all my money to run with the descendants of criminals). I am starting to really like this version of me, the one who goes all out for an event, then shrugs off the day and moves onto the next. Love 'em, and leave 'em on the course, ladies--that's my policy.
I think I might be a race slut. Cool.
Sunday I race the Covered Bridges Half Marathon in bucolic Vermont, which apparently has the highest rate of pot use in the country, so the weekend will be fantastic regardless of my race results.
I really feel as prepared as ever for this distance:
I trained the best I could, and the fast twitches are twitching for a fight.
I seduced my legs by telling lies about how strong and fabulous they are, and they're now ready to do my bidding. I made smarmy come-ons, such as "you are the most attractive quads ever to race for me," and as long as word doesn't get to my glutes that I'm a player, I should be good to go.
I've painted my black toenails black because it makes me feel fierce and I like to be ironic.
I've painted a mental landscape of my 1:40 finish with heavy globs of self-aggrandizement.
I've cultivated my best fuel for speedy running--lust and anger--by imagining David Beckham nagging me endlessly to reset the trip odometer after I fill up the tank.
And I've got my posse of running friends in my mental pocket, the ones who push me forward because they get why it matters to a suburban mother of average running skill to beat some semi-meaningless number on the clock.
We're going for even splits this weekend, 7:35 miles x 13.1. Ben & Jerry's and a bong if I can pull it off. And also if I can't.
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17 comments:
Good luck! You can do it!
Sounds like you are mentally prepared for the race. One tip, try looking in the mirror when talking to yourself or your body parts. It helps in the reinforcement.
Go with the Cheetos and Mountain Dew favored ice cream.
7:35 X 13.1 -- that's awesome (what are you talking about -- "average running skill"?!). Good luck and hope you have fun (well, you know what I mean...)!
Yesterday a 'romp' with running, today you're a 'race slut' and a 'player' 'seducing' your legs? I think you might have a problem. You're like a running nympho.
Also, I second mommyrunsalot's comment. You're way above average Kris, because if you're not then I'm way below average and that's a thought I don't want to deal with.
Good luck on Sunday, I'll be thinking my strong minded thoughts for you again.
Good luck! Wow, 7:35 splits as a goal - I must be dead if that's average.
Have a great race!
MCM Mama
As usual, Vanilla is both right and wrong. You are above average and he is also below average. The two aren't mutually exclusive.
Now, go get that PR...or get high trying.
Ben & Jerry's and a bong! LOVE it!
"Serious running:" please don't tease me with mountain dew flavored ice cream-that would rock!
Good luck on the race-maybe you'll catch Michael Phelps in the crowd cheering you on!
I grew up in the area the race is in (Quechee VT) All the years I lived there (11 of them) I wasn't a runner, and now I can't wait to be able to get an entry into the covered bridges half!( i have my calendar already marked for December, entry day) Stop by the Quechee Gorge, it's beautiful! Good luck , and enjoy!
Good luck at the race this weekend! But skip the bong - it's not performance enhancing anyway. ;-)
Good luck! Knock 'em dead!
(Wow. Now I want to paint my toenails black, too...)
Ben & Jerry's!! I might show up this weekend too.
You can do it! Really looking forward to your report on the race and festivities ;)
GOOD LUCK this weekend!! I'm certain you'll kick some A.
And when you're done with the race? Pass me the bong ;-)
Thinking speedy thoughts for you. Good luck!
Good luck, lady! You said it yourself--you are "as prepared as ever for this distance." Run like you mean it and get 'er done!! :)
This post has me rolling on the floor...you are just so darn wicked funny. Have a great race!
I ran the Covered Bridges a few years ago- amazing!!
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